a room for evelyn

 finding inspiration 

for a fresh dreamy space

for my sweet girl.

the title of this book

(by catherynne valente)

sums it up pretty well:

"the girl who circumnavigated fairyland

in a ship of her own making"

there will be whimsy,

adventures, magic, cute critters,

warrior princess spunk,

and wonderful new worlds to explore.

 

1.gold star cloud mobile by baby jives co

2.hedgehog cutie by glad o art

3.paper mâché wolf by abigail brown

4.vintage vanity set at sadie olive

5.victorious print by the black spot books

6.little red mobile at acorn toy shop

7.vintage mirror and brush set at bluey loves cocoa

8.driftwood boat by yalos

9.mountain range cushions by acordion apparel

10.vintage marble globe at harmonicajane

11.white felt deer by two sad donkeys

12.falling star collage by sushipot

13.felted pillow sheepscape by dellalana

14.moon engraving astronomy print by the curators print

15.searching from neverland print by esther from the sticks

16.new france antique map print at maps and posters

 

market days

 lovely market days.

for the last time before baby comes,

i got to have a booth

at the wonderful randolph street market

in chicago.

the weekend flew by

as i ogled gorgeous antiques,

met beautiful people,

and talked about art.

filled 

with preparations for the market,

live music,

and road trip shenanigans,

may is taking off.

now june.

officially 3rd trimester.

time to fully anticipate

the arrival of our sweet evelyn.

on to the joys

of preparing an inspiring space

to welcome her in.

 

 i leave you with

a glimpse at my newest large abstract.

and details.

love your life today!

"making a life"

out of hibernation

 hello, world!

i'm alive and well once again. 

"everything is blooming most recklessly"

and i'm inhaling the miracle of it all

in big gulps.

loads of life are blowing up all around me,

deep within,

my days are overflowing with loads of life.

isn't spring simply wonderful?

in this season when so much needs to be done,

i've been reflecting

on how to make the non-art work

meaningful, artful, poetic...

how to infuze every living moment

and every bit of work

with joy, creativity, beauty.

"you are worried and upset about many things"

jesus says to martha

"but few things are needed -

and indeed only one.

your sister has chosen

what is better

and it will not be taken away from her."

in reaching for the one thing,

i breathe through my work.

i take out the trash gratefully,

i do the dishes lovingly,

i grocery shop creatively,

i hold on to the joy of the studio

 as i go about the million little errands

that make up life.

back at my workbench,

i let go of what i think should be,

and play with textures,

keeping it light.

here is a glimpse at details

of a new work in progress.

"but listen to me for one moment.

quit being sad.

hear blessings

dropping their blossoms

around you."

-rumi

 

outside inside

the view from my studio window

granted, from two weeks ago.

yet this has been the look,

the mood,

the tone,

the feel,

the temperature.

and here it is reflected in my work

(which there hasn't been a lot of

since shaking off hibernation

takes its toll)

ask seek knock. detail

ask seek knock

 what there has been a lot of:

freshly squeezed orange juice

(substitute for sunshine)

long walks,

meals with dear friends,

learning to listen

to the madium,

to the process,

to the little voice within,

to my body,

to the little person within.

and finally,

a new painting

bursting 

with yearning for spring.

yielding to grace

new painting, findings, studio notes

the days are flying by this gray season,

yet not without leaving a mark.

it has been a week of:

- painting, drawing, gluing, stitching, burning

8 paintings at once

- wearing big cozy sweaters

- finishing a novel in 24 hours

- adding whiskey to my tea

- hunting for treasure at the resale shop

(is there anything more wonderful than

digging up unique luxuries for under $10?)

- reflecting, journaling, dreaming & scheming

- making visual studio notes mapping out work in progress

(directly on the canvas,

using materials and tools rather than words)

- simplifying my closet

leaving only things i love wearing and wear to death

- ruthlessly slashing at the shoulds in my schedule

leaving only essential and life giving items

a season of no compromises. no half measures.

no kind of sort ofs.

only full-hearted work

and full-hearted rest.

savoring the luxury of simplicity.

cashmere sweater, rabbit fur scarf, 2 pairs antique leather gloves, vintage dress patterns - lovely lovely resale shop finds

like tissue paper but 1000 times better

visual notes for works in progress

 
 i leave you with a sparkle of rumi via

ode 314:

those who don't feel this love
pulling them like a river,
those who don't drink dawn
like a cup of spring water
or take in sunset like supper,
those who don't want to change,
let them sleep.

this love is beyond the study of theology,

that old trickery and hypocrisy.

if you want to improve your mind that way,

sleep on.

i've given up on my brain.

i've torn the cloth to shreds

and thrown it away.

if you're not completely naked,

wrap your beautiful robe of words

around you,

and sleep.

the ethereal quality of tea filters atop of black

autumn wonderings and lingerings

 crisp & mellow days are taking turns.

gray days weeping

with the melancholy of fleeting moments.

golden days dripping

with honey

and the fragrance of dying leaves.

only two ways to respond

to the miracle of these new days:

venture out

through the wonderland of golden arches

set against a silver sky,

the streets gilded under your foot steps,

until your heart explodes

of so much beauty.

or

venture in

through the wonderland of your heart

spilling its treasures 

on the crisp pages of your journal.

listen to what the rain has to say

over a cup of strong black tea.

eat golden foods

dripping with the sweet nectar

of the dying sun.

butter

maple

bourbon

caramel

pears

melting into

chewy oats.

sojourn.

meander.

dillydally.

embracing the new season. easing into new work.

after spending every waking moment

for months

working on a single piece,

a welcomed break.

i stepped out and it was fall,

crisp air, turning leaves, and all.

it is quite daunting getting back into

regular work

after having your work cut out for you

for so very long.

so i embraced the new season instead.

took a little road trip to grand rapids

to see all the good, the bad, and the ugly

at the art prize opening.

i spiked my tea with whiskey,

lemon & honey too.

got cozy with my wool blanket,

journaling/list making/dreaming/scheeming.

listened to an entire book series

(book of the new sun by gene wolfe)

on audiobook.

baked

(german pacakes, muffins, breads, biscuits oh my).

caught up with friends.

had more tea.

the procrastinating can go on no longer,

yet the resistance

to staring a new piece

paralyzes.

the only thing to do is ease into the work,

taking small practical steps.

 

 going on a treasure hunt

(i found this wonderful water damaged dictionary -

it smells like a hundred years)

creating textured backgrounds.

painting monochromatic bases.

burning paper edges

and tea filters

with sticks of incense.

painting vintage frames.

drawing figures i connect with.

and slowly, i pick up momentum

and inspiration follows.

how about you?

do you run into this resistance to new work?

how do you push through?

wrapped in rainbows

 "i have been in sorrow's kitchen and licked out all the pots. 

then i have stood on the peaky mountain 

wrapped in rainbows, 

with a harp and sword in my hands."
- zora neale hurston

 a new girl.

and fragrant late spring as

neighboring linden trees explode

with lime blossoms -

so sweet and green

they make the most soothing

tea liquor.

much needed sips of sanity

in the middle of a delightfully full house.

friends from all over the world

crashing in the spare room

and the couch

and on the studio floor

as we prepare

for our dear friends' wedding feast.

insanity of the most

wonderful kind.

excuse my absence from e-space,

until the joy-filled chaos

subsides.

 lime blossom tea-scented kisses

and a lovely weekend to you,

my friends!

how do we become that

detail of new piece:  she defies dot dot dot

once upon a time, in a not-so-faraway land, there was a kingdom of acorns, nestled at the foot of a grand old oak tree. since the citizens of this kingdom were modern, fully westernized acorns, they went about their business with purposeful energy; and since they were midlife, baby-boomer acorns, they engaged in a lot of self-help courses.t here were seminars called “getting all you can out of your shell.” There were wounded-ness and recovery groups for acorns who had been bruised in their original fall from the tree. there were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being.
one day in the midst of this kingdom there suddenly appeared a knotty little stranger, apparently dropped “but of the blue” by a passing bird. he was capless and dirty, making an immediate negative impression on his fellow acorns. and crouched beneath the oak tree, he stammered out a wild tale. pointing upward at the tree, he said, “we … are … that!”
delusional thinking, obviously, the other acorns concluded, but one of them continued to engage him in conversation: “so tell us, how would we become that tree?” “well,” said he, pointing downward, “it has something to do with going into the ground … and cracking open the shell.” “insane,” they responded. “totally morbid! why, then we wouldn’t be acorns anymore.”

cynthia bourgeault. 'the wisdom way of knowing: reclaiming an ancient tradition to awaken the heart', as shared by my sister-friend elizabeth

there is
hope.

confession

 everybody seems

to be holding it together

pretty well.

not me. no, not me.

i crumble

a little bit daily

under the dream.

and running out of glues

to try

to piece it all together.

i choose two things.

only two. good things:

artist. lover.

impossible to be.

a life's work.

it is a journey,

certainly,

and failure, my faithful companion.

no, i've got no beef

 with old buddy failure,

what really does me in is

pride.

jabbing and stabbing

with icy shards and damn it

it knows

exactly the most excruciating hidden place

to strike

because

evidently

i am the only one

who can't keep it together

or at least the only one foolish enough

to strip myself 

of the comforting armor

and bare all

for the world to see.

so i confess:

i want. i expect. i demand.

more. more. more.

i laugh in the face of the impossible.

i push away those i love.

i believe in a god i do not know.

i wrestle surrender to the ground.

i abuse language.

i treat myself with contempt.

i stubbornly ... everything.

i allow time to waste me.

i fake art.

i can not do it alone.

for lent, i gave up hope.

(or perhaps it gave me up,

for the first time in history)

i am out of control.

for my sins of comission

for my crimes of omission

i feel i deserve to disappear.

but that, of course,

would be too kind a punishment.

the verdict is in:

life in prison

of a person i do not want to be.

...

spring. space.

'everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.'

- rainer maria rilke

'it's spring fever. that is what the name of it is. and when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you *do* want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!'

- mark twain

 

 grateful.  for oh so many things.

sunshine pouring through wide open windows.

stolen apple blossoms on my table.

new beginnings. 

outpouring of life.

(even the snakes coming out to play)

most of all

this space.

to be

and to create from.

and you,

this crazy beautiful family

to share the journey with.

i propose a toast.

to yes!