spring. space.

'everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.'

- rainer maria rilke

'it's spring fever. that is what the name of it is. and when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you *do* want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!'

- mark twain

 

 grateful.  for oh so many things.

sunshine pouring through wide open windows.

stolen apple blossoms on my table.

new beginnings. 

outpouring of life.

(even the snakes coming out to play)

most of all

this space.

to be

and to create from.

and you,

this crazy beautiful family

to share the journey with.

i propose a toast.

to yes!

 

renovations: inside and out

it will always be a work in progress.

as am i.

so i procrastinate.

i get fired up.

i cry and laugh

perhaps at the same time.

i cry some more.

 

i sand plastered walls

until 3 in the morning

i stare at the canvas

until i forget my name.

i mix up my verbs:

my to dos

my to bes

i ravish time

when it offers himself up to me.

and not in a sexy way.

 i beat against his chest

with bleeding knuckles

dreading his sweet breath

on my bare shoulder

because it reminds me

of his existence.

i forget things.

to be kind.

the keys.

the sound of my own voice.

i remember

to take off my shoes

when i step on holy ground.

to weep with joy

over so reckless an abundance

of grace:

our old doors and beams

finding new life

in a bench for the studio.

whiskey and cigars on our patio.

warm breeze through

the flung open doors.

a favorite professor

as my new neighbor.

friends stopping by 

unannounced.

a lovely housewarming gift

arrived in the mail

from the dearest of souls.

the relentless tenderness

of time,

who keeps on loving me,

bloody knuckles

and all.

 

 

magic in a cast iron skillet

thrilled and terrified

for the first

full day

in the studio

in over a month.

but first,

breakfast.

can't work on an empty stomach.

this is magic

in a cast iron skillet.

2 minutes of work

+ 5 ingredients

(you already have in your kitchen)

= fluffy delicious goodness

i highly recommend

that you spend

the 20 minutes it takes to cook

sitting in quiet

contemplation.

(we don't do this enough!)

 

the only recipe i know

by heart:

 

3 room temperature eggs

3/4C milk

3/4C flour

2T sugar

2T butter

beat together & pour

 in cast iron skillet 

(preheated with another 2T butter)

20min at 400ºF

eat right away with

a sprinkle of powdered sugar 

& squeeze of lemon

or figs

cooked down

with sugar & a splash of liquor

and chunks of brie

or anything you like really,

this baby is extremely versatile.

i've been meaning to try

a savory version.

now back to my book

with the sandpaper

i go.

(testing new method for finding poetry.

will show you soon.)

happy spring, friends!

 

try this at home: beet & avocado salad

it's simple.  to put out good stuff, you have to first put good stuff in.  

so i breathe in the ocean.  drink in the silence.  eat up the words. 

so i glean the wisdom. 

feed my imagination.

but i know it is truly well

with my soul

when i can taste it. 

so i make salads.  

simplicity & decadence are not mutually exclusive.

fresh.  comforting.

joyful.  tender. 

juicy.  

sensual. 

it comes out in the work. 

in the living.

when i eat well, i love well.

here is a salad that loves you well. 

it says

even though you had to return

from l.a. 

to chicago

and february endures,

everything is going to be alright.  

this is how you toss it together:

roast whole beets covered in a pan with salt, sugar, a splash of water, and one of vinegar.

in a low oven until tender.  about an hour. 

cool.

toss arugula with salt, pepper, olive oil, balsamic.

top with beet & avocado wedges.  sweet peas.  crumbled feta. 

enjoy the rich, tender, lively goodness.  

give someone a big hug. 

(you will feel a sudden surge of loving kindness)

virtual tea tuesday: always poetry

pear caramel black tea.

fresh citrus aroma opens up my morning. 

sunshine.

comfort in a heavy mug.  present from a dear friend who is far away. 

ancient + modern home inspiration.

home!

we are so close!  only a month away.

a month of hearty hands on work. 

we get to make this boarded up foreclosed property into

our home.

our sanctuary.

a space for art and music and laughter.

a space for quiet contemplation.

for basking in the morning light and listening to the afternoon rain.

for being.

a space for good food.

a space where the tea kettle is always on.

and the door always open.

ever open to friends old and new.

our home.

and there will always be

poetry.

'for as long as i can remember.'

virtual tea tuesday

i like a slow start to my day.  tea.  reading.  journaling.  quiet time with myself.

solitude.  meditation.  spacing out.  whatever you choose to call it, it is needed. 

jotting down ideas is also needed.  the easiest way to declutter a busy mind.

today, what seemed necessary was writing down the big things on the horizon for 2012.

     feb - signing the closing contract.  renovations to the house. 

             moving in.  setting up the new studio.

           - trip to L.A.

     mar - inspiration corporation art auction

     apr - submit entry to art prize in grand rapids

     may - randolph street market

     jun - trip to kentucky

     jul - indianapolis solo exhibit

          - turning 30

     aug & sep - randolph street market

     oct - art prize/ grand rapids

lovely and exciting as these plans may be, i realize i can't count on them materializing.  i can not  take tomorrow for granted.  all i have is today.  here & now.

i need to focus on one day at a time.  and this is what i want for today:

     1.  to make art

every day i sit down with a blank canvas and create something new is a successful day. 

every day i sit down with a time-worn book page, and slash and slash ruthlessly at words until poetry emerges is a successful day.

to be creative in my decision-making counts as well.  so does creative use of resources.

     2.  to be extravagantly,  un-strategically generous

i do believe we live in a world of abundance.  there is plenty to go around if we are only willing to share.  i tend to try and arrange for myself a lot, to scheme, to grasp, to hold on tightly.  the antidote is giving away, rather than letting go.  i am not just referring to material things.  more to give: my time, understanding, grace, a listening ear, respect, little acts of service, great acts of service, the right to be right, the need to control, words of encouragement, hugs, the gift of presence.  and to let go of the expectation for gratitude.  if we all put that kind of a generous spirit into action, it would turn the world right side up.

    3.  to surf the waves of grace

i get discouraged on a regular basis.  if i've gotten three quarters through my impossible to do list for the day, i feel a failure.  perhaps i demand too much of myself.  regardless, i get quite bogged down with all the things i want to accomplish that i don't and all that i want to be that i am not.  i recently discovered a hope-filled perspective on grace from john ortberg.  he says "the good news about surfing is this: if you miss one wave, if you fall off, if you wipe out, there's another wave coming right behind it.  god just keeps sending them."  we never run out of waves.  so, no more letting fear of failure bully me. i will just try to catch the next wave.

recap.  to do today: make art, give generously, accept grace.  tomorrow, if i'm lucky enough to get one, repeat.  and so on. 

how about you?  what are your big plans for the year?  how about the essentials for today?